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Well, if DISPUTE is a fee-only transaction then miners have a VERY strong incentive to drop LAZY_ALICE and mine DISPUTE instead. I don't think we'd have trouble asking miners to support a code change that is something like:
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etotheipi, I've been thinking about your comment "I don't like the asymmetry" ...
LAZY_ALICE and DISPUTE are, I think, symmetric-- Alice holds DISPUTE in case Bob doesn't hold up his end of the bargain, Bob holds LAZY_ALICE in case she doesn't. I proposed that DISPUTE have an earlier lockTime than LAZY_ALICE, but maybe that's not necessary.
If Alice really doesn't trust Bob, then I think the whole scheme also works if Bob puts a "good faith security deposit" of bitcoins into the mix.
The complexity of all this (5 possible transactions, different states the escrow can be in, initial communication to initiate the escrow) makes me nervous. Even just figuring out how Alice and Bob's clients talk to each to setup the escrow isn't obvious.