http://enju.aist-nara.ac.jp/jsai/english/archaeology-japan.html WWW Resources of Archaeology in Japan Available almost in English ------------------------------------------------------------ The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office. -- Robert Frost ------------------------------------------------------------ If I had eight hours to cut down a tree, I'd spend seven sharpening my axe. -- Attributed to Abraham Lincoln ------------------------------------------------------------ When I want your opinion, I will give it to you. -- "The Godfather" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Vārdate da la piova e dal vento, da frate fora de convento, da sior nato povarin e da femena che parla latin. -- Veronese proverb. ------------------------------------------------------------ My other car is a cdr. ------------------------------------------------------------ Happiness is having a chitinous exoskeleton. ------------------------------------------------------------ When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. -- Griffin's Thought ------------------------------------------------------------ But besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? ------------------------------------------------------------ Remember, you are a completely unique and distinct individual. Just like everyone else. ------------------------------------------------------------ Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years. ------------------------------------------------------------ Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ------------------------------------------------------------ Nuke the unborn gay whales for Jesus! ------------------------------------------------------------ Hi! I'm a shareware signature! Send $5 if you use me, send $10 for manual! ------------------------------------------------------------ Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?" Then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up." -- Charlie Brown, _Peanuts_ [Charles Schulz] ------------------------------------------------------------ Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." -- Charlie Brown, _Peanuts_ [Charles Schulz] ------------------------------------------------------------ Why are our days numbered and not, say lettered. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali ------------------------------------------------------------ Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely. ------------------------------------------------------------ The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. ------------------------------------------------------------ Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain ------------------------------------------------------------ Tom Seaver: "Hey, Yogi, what time is it?" Yogi Berra: "You mean now?" ------------------------------------------------------------ It's like deja-vu, all over again. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ People don't go there anymore. It's too crowded. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ You can observe a lot just by watchin'. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ If you come to a fork in the road, take it. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ We have deep depth. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ We made too many wrong mistakes. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ Parting is such sweet sorrow that I should say goodnight until tomorrow. -- Shakespeare ------------------------------------------------------------ A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. -- Gloria Steinum ------------------------------------------------------------ I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough. -- M. C. Escher ------------------------------------------------------------ Love is like pi---natural, irrational, and VERY important. ------------------------------------------------------------ No computer has ever been designed that is ever aware of what it's doing; but most of the time, we aren't either. -- Marvin Minsky ------------------------------------------------------------ Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result. ------------------------------------------------------------ Will your answer to this question be no? ------------------------------------------------------------ Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate. -- Omni ------------------------------------------------------------ Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out. -- Omni ------------------------------------------------------------ When subjected to extreme feminine heat and pressure, male hydrocarbons will often produce a diamond. -- Omni ------------------------------------------------------------ If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it wasn't yours to begin with. ------------------------------------------------------------ If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it. ------------------------------------------------------------ If you love something, kill it. If it returns, you belong to it forever. ------------------------------------------------------------ Project: To determine what makes things tick. Plan: ....to stop the ticking. ------------------------------------------------------------ Sign for a combined Veterinarian and Taxidermist business: "Either Way You Get Your Dog Back" ------------------------------------------------------------ You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" -- George Bernhard Shaw ------------------------------------------------------------ If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end---I shouldn't be at all surprised. -- Dorothy Parker ------------------------------------------------------------ Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? -- Jules Feiffer Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary ------------------------------------------------------------ Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) ------------------------------------------------------------ See the happy moron, He doesn't give a damn. I wish I were a moron, My God! Perhaps I am! -- Dorothy Parker ------------------------------------------------------------ If God didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him. -- Voltaire ------------------------------------------------------------ Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate. (Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.) -- Dante Alighieri (1265-1321) ------------------------------------------------------------ Pope John Paul would be more popular if he called himself Pope John Paul George and Ringo. -- Paul Krassner ------------------------------------------------------------ Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. -- Dorothy Parker ------------------------------------------------------------ There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. -- Winston Churchill ------------------------------------------------------------ Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence. ------------------------------------------------------------ There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking---it's called marriage. ------------------------------------------------------------ When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. ------------------------------------------------------------ A man is incomplete till he is married; then he is finished. ------------------------------------------------------------ A self-made man will be amazed at the number of alterations made when he marries. ------------------------------------------------------------ Ah, Mozart! He was happily married, but his wife wasn't. -- Borge ------------------------------------------------------------ Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ------------------------------------------------------------ Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't, they would be married too. -- H. L. Mencken ------------------------------------------------------------ Do married people live longer, or does it just seem that way? ------------------------------------------------------------ I never knew what true happiness was till I got married. And then it was too late. ------------------------------------------------------------ I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx ------------------------------------------------------------ Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman. -- Herbert Spencer ------------------------------------------------------------ Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ------------------------------------------------------------ Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. ------------------------------------------------------------ Of course I'm happily married. She's happy, and I'm married. ------------------------------------------------------------ The theory used to be that you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. ------------------------------------------------------------ Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson ------------------------------------------------------------ The philosophy exam was a piece of cake---which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper. ------------------------------------------------------------ A rolling stone gathers momentum. ------------------------------------------------------------ I went to the doctor for a check-up. It was ok, he was there. ------------------------------------------------------------ I went up into the attic with the wife the other day. Dirty, filthy, covered in cobwebs. But she's good with the kids. I found this violin and this picture. I took them along to the auctioneer, he says what you've got there is a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt. Unfortunately, Stradivarius was a rotten painter, and Rembrandt couldn't make violins. (Sticks violin through picture.) ------------------------------------------------------------ That was Zen. This is Tao. -- Peter da Silva ------------------------------------------------------------ One of the most attractive features of a Connection Machine is the array of blinking lights on the faces of its cabinet. -- CM Paris Ref. Manual, v6.0, p48. ------------------------------------------------------------ Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good. ------------------------------------------------------------ Where would we be without rhetorical questions? ------------------------------------------------------------ Illiterate? Write for help! ------------------------------------------------------------ It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. -- John Andrew Holmes ------------------------------------------------------------ The saddest thing of word or pen, To know the things that might have been. -- John Greenleaf Whittier, 1807-1892, U.S. poet ------------------------------------------------------------ If of all words of tongue and pen, The saddest are, `It might have been,' More sad are these we daily see: `It is, but hadn't ought to be.' -- Francis Brett Hart ------------------------------------------------------------ Men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and disposable. -- Mrs. White, _Clue_ ------------------------------------------------------------ This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left. -- Cambridge University Math Department ------------------------------------------------------------ There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. -- Somerset Maugham ------------------------------------------------------------ The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. -- Rita Mae Brown ------------------------------------------------------------ A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself. -- Niels Bohr ------------------------------------------------------------ Inside this fat body there's a skinny person screaming to get out. I ate her. ------------------------------------------------------------ Politically-incorrect T-Shirt idea: What part of "AWW C'MON, PLEASE?" don't you understand? -- Roger Crew ------------------------------------------------------------ You can drop a mouse down a thousand-yard mine shaft and, on arriving at the bottom, it gets a slight shock and walks away. A rat would probably be killed, though it can fall safely from the eleventh story of a building, a man is broken, a horse splashes. -- J. B. S. Haldane, _On Being the Right Size_ ------------------------------------------------------------ Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin... -- The Knights Who So Recently Said "Nee!" ------------------------------------------------------------ If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. -- Vince Lombardi ------------------------------------------------------------ Ninety percent of the game is half mental. -- Yogi Berra ------------------------------------------------------------ You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long. -- Boris Yeltsin ------------------------------------------------------------ Two rights don't make a wrong, but three will get you back on the freeway. -- James Wesley Jackson ------------------------------------------------------------ Football combines two of the worst things about American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. -- George Will ------------------------------------------------------------ You simply MUST stop taking advice from other people. -- Melissa Timberman ------------------------------------------------------------ If I traveled to the end of the rainbow As Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me The pot's at the other end. -- Bert Whitney ------------------------------------------------------------ We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. ------------------------------------------------------------ Quantum particles: the dreams that stuff is made of. -- David Moser ------------------------------------------------------------ "Do you know what Freud said about dreams of flying? It means you're really dreaming about having sex." "Indeed? Tell me, then, what does it mean when you dream about having sex?" -- Morpheus and Rose Walker ------------------------------------------------------------ Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. -- Andy Rooney ------------------------------------------------------------ A physicist visits a colleague and notices a horseshoe hanging on the wall above the entrance. "Do you really believe that a horseshoe brings luck?" he asks. "No," replies the colleague, "but I've been told that it works even if you don't believe in it." -- Told by Niels Bohrs ------------------------------------------------------------ Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. -- Mark Twain ------------------------------------------------------------ Chemistry is physics without thought; mathematics is physics without purpose. ------------------------------------------------------------ Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. -- Dave Barry ------------------------------------------------------------ Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. -- Groucho Marx ------------------------------------------------------------ Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -- Groucho Marx ------------------------------------------------------------ Never trust anybody who says "trust me." Except just this once, of course. -- John Varley, "Steel Beach" ------------------------------------------------------------ The Great Roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ Her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ Don't knock masturbation---it's sex with someone I love. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. -- Woody Allen ------------------------------------------------------------ In brief, she assumed that, being a man, I was vain to the point of imbecility, and this assumption was correct, as it always is. -- H. L. Mencken ------------------------------------------------------------ Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. -- H. L. Mencken ------------------------------------------------------------ I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put under coasters. -- Steven Wright ------------------------------------------------------------ In bed the other night my girlfriend asked "if you could know exactly when and where you would die, would you want to?" I said "no". She said, "ok, then forget it". -- Steven Wright ------------------------------------------------------------ To my daughter Leonora without whose never failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been completed in half the time. -- P.G. Wodehouse -- [Quoted in Pepper's _The Wit and Wisdom of the 20th Century_, p.199, #14] ------------------------------------------------------------ We now present the conclusion of...The Never-ending Story. -- From a cable TV broadcast of the movie ------------------------------------------------------------ nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands -- e e cummings, _Somewhere I have Never Travelled_ ------------------------------------------------------------ Are tectonic plates dishwasher-safe? -- Herb Caen, S. F. Chronicle, 8/12/93 ------------------------------------------------------------ On the business front, UNIX has been under attack from a variety of sources, primarily by the nonexistant Windows NT. Luckily, the UNIX vendors have their own nonexistant products with which to answer the threat. -- Stephen C. Johnson, President (Usenix) ------------------------------------------------------------ Lisp in action is like a finely choreographed ballet. Basic in action is like a waltz of drugged elephants. C in action is like a sword dance on a freshly waxed floor. ------------------------------------------------------------ USENET: Post to exotic, distant machines. Meet exciting, unusual people. And flame them. -- Dan Sorenson ------------------------------------------------------------ But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses. -- Bruce Leverett, "Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers" ------------------------------------------------------------ One item could not be deleted because it was missing. -- Mac System 7.0b1 error message ------------------------------------------------------------ The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation. -- Lew Mammel, Jr. ------------------------------------------------------------ Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. -- Donald Knuth ------------------------------------------------------------ Any computer project will take twice as long as you think it will even when you take into account Hofstadter's law. -- Hofstadter's law (Douglas Hofstadter) ------------------------------------------------------------ There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. -- C. A. R. Hoare ------------------------------------------------------------ When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is. -- A. Rand ------------------------------------------------------------ If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem. -- John Paul Getty ------------------------------------------------------------ Evelyn Waugh, when Randolph Churchill had a benign tumour removed from his lung: "It seems to me to be a typical triumph of modern science to find the only part of Randolph that was not malignant, and remove it." ------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Joseph Heller, _Catch-22_ ------------------------------------------------------------ I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated. -- Poul Anderson ------------------------------------------------------------ Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies. -- Bill Bulko ------------------------------------------------------------ In capitalism, man exploits man. In Communism, it's exactly the opposite. ------------------------------------------------------------ [On the difference between political life and academic life:] In Washington, it's dog eat dog. In academia, it's exactly the opposite. -- Robert Reich, Secretary of Labor and Harvard lecturer, on NPR ------------------------------------------------------------ [Correspondence between George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill:] Dear Winnie, Here are two tickets to my new play. Bring a friend, if you have one. GBS Dear GBS, Sorry, but I can't make it to the opening night of your new play. However I would appreciate tickets to the second night performance -- if you have one. WSC 1. What's the contour integral around Western Europe? Answer: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe! Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable! 2. An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his very religious colleague: Do you believe in one God? Answer: Yes, up to isomorphism! "If relativity is proved right the Germans will call me a German, the Swiss will call me a Swiss citizen, and the French will call me a great scientist. If relativity is proved wrong the French will call me a Swiss, the Swiss will call me a German, and the Germans will call me a Jew."--Albert Einstein. "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein. "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18." --Albert Einstein. "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."-- Albert Einstein "I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it." "There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain." -- Baron Rothschild, ca. 1800 Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated. -- R. Drabek The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicans is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results. Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated. -- M. C. Reed. The first law of Engineering Mathematics: All infinite series converge, and moreover converge to the first term. Mathematicians have announced the existence of a new whole number which lies between 27 and 28. "We don't know why it's there or what it does," says Cambridge mathematician, Dr. Hilliard Haliard, "we only know that it doesn't behave properly when put into equations, and that it is divisible by six, though only once." Two behaviorists meet in the morning and one says to the other, "You're fine. How am I?" One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. -- Robert Firth You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -- Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio Scientific American, July 1991: The column describes an insect-like robot and then relates an incident in which a curious visitor, upon seeing the thing for the first time, asks "is it a bug?" The reply: "No, it's a feature." Why can you only have two doors on a chicken coop? If it had four it would be a chicken sedan. Goodbye. I am leaving because I am bored. -- George Saunders' dying words Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity. Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come. -- Nietzsche [not] Lady Nancy Astor, Viscountess: "If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavour your coffee with poison." Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband, madam, I should drink it." Be on the lookout for a leopard which escaped from the zoo early this morning. It was spotted near the corner of 12th and Cherry at around 8am, and in all likelihood still is. Plan: To make a machine that will be proud of us. -- Thinking Machine's motto. A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire The misanthrope's catastrophic apostrophe landed in the cantaloupe near the antelope's interloper. -- R. Michael Young I don't want to be immortal through my work. I want to be immortal through not dying. -- Woody Allen "Apparently, it was not as big of a surprise as we had anticipated." -- Cylon Warrior to Imperious Leader Seen on Pavlov's door: "Knock. Don't ring bell." "What has the study of biology taught you about the Creator, Dr. Haldane?" JBS Haldane: "A inordinate fondness for beetles." The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier. Conscious is when you are aware of something, and conscience is when you wish you weren't. San Diego: The weather is here, wish you were beautiful. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977 Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. -- Winston Churchill (1874-1965) You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back. It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. -- H. L. Mencken Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages. Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero. Twice five syllables Plus seven can't say much but That's Haiku for you. In a literature class, the students were given an assignment to write a short story involving all the important ingredients - Nobility, Emotion, Sex, Religion and Mystery. One student allegedly handed in the following story: "My god!" cried the duchess. "I'm pregnant. Who did it?" Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. Benny Hill: The master of the single entendre. When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. When toast is dropped, it always lands butter-side-down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat [butter facing up]. The two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. -- Omni Those who will not reason, perish in the act. Those who will not act, perish for that reason. -- W. H. Auden, _Shorts_ The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny..." -- Isaac Asimov f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm! f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd. Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone. -- Keynes Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move. Familiarity breeds attempt Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. -- Oscar Wilde Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North Carolina. Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture on a rock. -- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981 Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who imposed the deadline). History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other. "First things first -- but not necessarily in that order" -- The Doctor, "Doctor Who" Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity. -- Robert Firth Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing. -- Walt Kelly, "Putluck Pogo" For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. -- H. L. Mencken For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill. -- R. Clopton For large values of one, one equals two, for small values of two For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like. -- Abraham Lincoln Incorrigible punster -- Do not incorrige. Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie. Kevin D Quitt USA 91351-4454 96.37% of all statistics are made up Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrows; it only saps today of its strength. A. J. Cronin IP Therefore I am! Dr. Bob I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific." - Lily Tomlin Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. --Anonymous Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. Anonymous Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film! Anonymous Though self employed, my opinions do not reflect those of my employer. Bill Smith, Concord,NH Not in a thousand years will man ever fly! -- Wilbur Wright, 1901 "I very much wonder why most people consider wisdom valuable but have little respect for number. They are of course one and the same thing." -Augustine "Any problem with real cojones is NP-complete." -Chase Tingley "Some things you can feel coming. You don't fall in love because you fall in love; you fall in love because of the need, desperate, to fall in love. When you feel that need, you have to watch your step: like having drunk a philter, the kind that makes you fall in love with the first things you meet. It could be a duck-billed platypus." -Umberto Eco "Prolog, based on the name, would appear to be about programmable logic. Now, there are two problems with this." -Chase Tingley "Q: Why do ducks have flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires. Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks." -The best (UNIX) fortune I've ever seen "If a man knows no Latin, he belongs to the vulgar, even though he be a great virtuoso on the electrical machine and have the base of hydrofluoric acid in his crucible." -Arthur Schopenhauer The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating. -- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course A three line PERL script that implements RSA public key encryption TRY: echo squeamish ossifrage | rsa -e 3 7537d365 | rsa -d 4e243e33 7537d365 #!/usr/local/bin/perl -s-- -export-a-crypto-system-sig -RSA-in-3-lines-PERL ($k,$n)=@ARGV;$m=unpack(H.$w,$m."\0"x$w),$_=`echo "16do$w 2+4Oi0$d*-^1[d2% Sa2/d0